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Jan. 6th, 2010 @ 07:15 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: I don't know
Pussy.

It's such a derogatory thing to say about somebody.
Why?

Why is female genitalia considered a symbol for weakness?
Because women are supposed to be weak, frail, submissive and emotional?


Ok.
I get it.

Dick.

Because all men are raging jerkaholics. That's right. Every single last man on the planet is a bumbling, egotistical, idiot that has no idea what emotions are and how to express them. They're all wrong.

Of course.

Both of us have got it way wrong. All of humanity is quote "Doin' it wrong." The majority of us want equality, but achieving equality isn't accomplished by using the opposite sexes genitalia to describe then unfavorable personality, behavior or attitude of another.
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Jan. 5th, 2010 @ 10:16 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: exhausted
I've been on a weird "Hell yeah" kick lately. I've been saying it nonstop. I don't know why. It's apparently hilarious to people and I find it funny too, so I don't mind.

I checked my grades....
I'm failing English and Spanish.

English  because I was feeling sick (with migraines and stomach pains that make it incredibly hard to concentrate) while working on a very important test which consisted of three essays delving into the message of a book with ideas and backing those ideas up. The ideas can't be just any dumb 'ol ideas. They have to be extremely deep and you have to dissect those ideas essentially until there's nothing left of them. I have a problem with that. I love English and I love philosophy, but you can only dissect things to a certain point. Otherwise your just clawing and clawing at information, events and symbolism until you have nothing left. That's always my problem. I can't stop thinking and I think and think and think until I have no options and what I think is a great idea ends up being so simple it's laughable, when really I had mulled over the book for so long that I just had no true opinion or idea of it left. I hate it because that's all that English class seems to consist of. Dissecting and dissecting and dissecting information.

I guess I take find the meaning of the book too far because the typical student doesn't go so far into thought that they have nothing left to write about. I did and I got a 60 on the only test of the semester. Lovely.

It's a terrible habit that if I don't snap out of it, I'll fail English. That is not an option because if I fail English I don't graduate this year. Not happening. I can't stand my high school. It's suffocating me. I don't want to see that building anymore. It feels like jail. Repetive and cold with blinding white walls. There may be no bars to chain me in, but there are alarms on the doors...pointless alarms, but alarms nonetheless and cameras everywhere. I feel like I'm being watched all that time and it makes me paranoid.

Holy frack I am tired. That's what happens when you stay at school until 7:30.
Thanks jazz choir.

Peace out.
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Jan. 4th, 2010 @ 07:02 pm We're all the same.
Current Mood: inspired
No one is one thing.
No one is nothing.
Everyone is everything.

I've just realize this just now.

Look past the physical because everyone physical is different...even twins, triplets..etc. in some way.
But emotionally.

We're all the same.
We all have the same emotions.
We all strive for the same thing.

Self-fullfillment.

Which can be found in a variety of ways.
Religion, just plain ol hope, by working hard to become a success, by doing drugs and escaping, by being that starving artists, by fighting for a cause, by helping a stranger or even hurting another stranger.
Everything we do is for fullfillment.
Everything.

We all feel that we have a purpose in life.
Why so?
If we didn't, no one would ever strive to do anything. It wouldn't matter. It's purposeless.

There are those that say "There's no point.", yet they are still here. Still trying to accomplish some goal. Some could say that society demands it of them. No money means no shelter, food or clothing. And that the only reason they're even working to accomplish anything is because they have to. It's the norm of society to feel that you need money and have to spend your life trying to be as successful as possible in whatever endeavor you choose, but you don't have to do anything. No one can make another human being do something against their will. Circumstances can. If you have a gun to your head chances are, you're going to follow the orders the holder of that gun have in store for you, but still. It's your choice. A life or death choice, not easy, but you could still choose. And if holding by your morals and not following orders is what you choose to do, self-fullfillment. If you choose to follow orders so you can continue living life and continue going towards a goal, self-fullfillment. It's self-fullfilment and everyone strives for it.

We all have the same emotions.
Some show different emotions outwardly, but inwardly we all feel the exact same things. It doesn't matter what caused the emotions or how big or small the event that caused the emotions are. We feel them. In the same way. This could be arguable, but we do feel the same way. The difference between people is what they choose to do with their emotions. Some choose to hide them. Some choose to express them. Some choose to act on them and some choose to act out because of them, but we're all feeling the same thing.


I find it interesting how a happy go lucky person can be sad underneath their smiles and a depressed and suicidal person can still manage to hold on to hope and choose life. Those are extremes, but it's like we're all the same. We all are the same.

It's as though we're one.
One person.
One body.
One mind.
One energy.
One chi.
One soul.


If we took the time to realize that people are just people and we're all the same there would be no injustice from people to other people. Why?
Because if you realized that everyone was just like you and feels the same way you do.
Because if you realized that everyone cries when they're sad or hurting whether it be emotional or physical pain.
Because if you realized that everyone laughs when something funny happens and their eyes light up with a smile when they see something or someone they love, which is an involuntary act,

You wouldn't want to hurt them.
You wouldn't want them to make them feel inferior.
You'd want them to treat them as you would like to be treated because you'd realize that another person feels, just like you.
That other person is just like you.


My mind has been going nonstop since last night. I can't stop writing. Tell me at anytime if I should spare you from my thoughts. Please. I encourage it. I feel like I'm being an angsty teenager, but these tangents don't come from a place of teenage angst, depression or anger. They come from a place of passion and the intense desire to change the world and make a difference, if only by changing one persons outlook at a time by sharing my thoughts and ideas with them.
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Jan. 4th, 2010 @ 06:30 pm Quotetastic Thought #1
Current Mood: contemplative
Every time you make and observation about someone else, you're also making an observation about yourself.


Shabam.
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Jan. 4th, 2010 @ 04:42 pm It's human nature.
Current Mood: full
People are just people and as much as we try to get around it, we are just  animals. Whether you believe evolution or that God or Gods created us, we're still just animals. We think in an animalistic way, we're just able to put our thoughts into written word. Some say spoken language is what makes people human. Why is that so? Most animals have a spoken language. It's just different from ours. Bugs? They speak too, but  in most bugs their diminutiveness prevents them from being heard. But because we are humans and we are vain and self-centered we claim we are the best and the brightest. Why so? If we truly were the brightest we wouldn't the many avoidable problems that we have now.


War.
Famine.
Climate Change.
Diseases that have cures and treatment, yet still spread like wildfire killing, lord I don't know how many, but the numbers are baffling.


All of those things are preventable, but it's our animalistic minds. Animals have mob mentality. Animals strongly dislike change, even when it's for the better because it's unknown. It's mysterous. It's ominous and frightening.

So do humans. So when we see someone or something different, we autoumatically fear it. We cast it out of society so we can be sure it doesn't do anything to us. Mob mentality. But the problem is that humanity truly has nothing to fear, yet we still fear everything. We aren't the best or the brightest, yet we're still the most powerful and because of this, we don't wield that power with care. We destroy everything in our path. Animals tend to take what they need and leave. Not humans. We take and take and take and take. We never stop taking from Mother Earth. We see Mother Earth withering so we decided to close our eyes, pretend it's not happening and keep on taking. We hear that if we keep on taking than eventual we'll run out, but we don't listen. We won't until our grabbing, selfish hands hidden by the closed eyes of denial have nothing more to grab. We don't realize that being in denial about what is truly happening is hurting us and it's hurting the Earth.  Another flaw of humanity. We never know what we have until it's gone. It's our taking attitude. We take and take and take, but we never appreciate it, so when it's finally gone and we realize how much we miss it and how much worse off we're all without the thing it seems we can never get back again, that's when we realize that we needed it, but by then it's already too late.


Choices.
Another characteristic of humans is that we have the abiltiy to make change on a grand scale. Right now, it's for the worst. We're destroying our only planet as though we have another. We have the ability to see that it's all going down hill and to change it. We have that choice. We realize what's happening. Animals have the intuition. They feel things are changing. They can see the change. They're habitats are not-so-slowly being destroyed, but they don't know why or how. But we have the knowledge. We know what's happening. The world is changing right before our eyes, but we aren't doing nearly enough to fix it. We never are.


Oh humanity and it's flaws.


Random subject change.
So I was browsing communities. I decided I should participate in something other than shamone_mj. I decided that I needed a cause. I needed communities who were gonna fight for the same things I was. This wasn't the point. Anyway, while I was searching I saw a community that was against porn.


Is porn really bad? Some could say it's unnatural to watch others engage in sexual activites, but animals do it. I say no. I'm for porn, but not the way it's filmed. Girls with bleached blonde hair, with big silicone boobs and who's only goal is to please the man. Youngs girls and boys exposed to this (and let's not pretend young girls and boys don't watch porn or at least haven't come across it by accident) see this and it sends the wrong message. Boys end up thinking that only girls with fake boobs and bleached blonde hair is sexy. Boys end up thinking that girls are supposed to please the guy and if they're not striving to do that, something is wrong with the girl. Girls end up thinking they're not good enough because they don't have those fake boobs and feel that they have to please the guy regardless of whether the girl wants to or not. That's not what porn should be. It should be beautiful. Two natural people just making love and being with one another, physically, spiritaully and emotionally. That's beautiful. That I have no problem with.


Well, I think I'm done here.
PEACE.
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Jan. 4th, 2010 @ 12:34 am WTF is wrong with society? Oh right....everything!
Current Mood: contemplative
A rant inspired by this post community.livejournal.com/shamone_mj/1683039.html about race. Naturally it was on shamone_mj, but hey, there are some pretty thought provoking posts on there sometimes.


Why is it so threatening when a black man obtains wealth fame and power? Everyone tries to cut him down. He can't do anything right! If he goes forward with being a strong proud black man, then he's sinister and frightening. If he's a black man that doesn't act like a typical black person, then no matter what, he'll be accused of trying to be white. People assume that the man is ashamed to be black. It doesn't matter where he grew up. Even if he grew up in the suburbs or in an all white community. He's apparently supposed to be immune to white culture. No. He can't act like the others that surround him. He's supposed to stay in his place and "act black" even though "acting black" is what people fear. It's a no win situation.


Michael is a prime example of that, which is why there was a post about him and what race had to do with the intense criticism of well, everything about him.

You know who's also an example?
Obama.

Everyone listened to his words of hope that promised change. He became president. We all got our wish. Now he can't win. Not with anyone. Because he didn't fix our economy that has been quickly going down the drain for the past decade in just one year of presidency. He's lost his popularity. Even people that voted for him, don't like him now because he didn't stop the war, get good health care, pay off our debt, give everyone's jobs back and end a two year recession in a year. Because it's so easy to just get that all done with a snap of the finger. If he even decides to step outside the white house and do some unofficial things people will claim he's lazy and should get back in the white house and start fixing the economy. Most of the reason economy isn't fixed is because no one will fucking let him! If he was a white people would've pardoned him. They'd say "Well, it's only been a year! He can't fix it all that fast!" but no. Also, he had his birth certificate fucking questioned! Because his dad was from Africa everyone wanted to say he wasn't really American. Really?! If it was a white person who fucking forged a birth certificate no one would have even guessed. Obama didn't do anything except do his best in this fucked up economy and people won't even give him that. If he was white though, no one would care.

I heard this from a comedian.

"If the president is black he'd have to be a straight A student that went to Harvard, but if the president is white, we'll let the C student rule the country!"

Might not have worded that right, but close enough.

Bush fucking sucked as president! He had been an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. He drove our economy into the ground and people fucking laughed it off! But Obama's left with the shambles of the economy Bush ruined and left behind and because he didn't fix it as soon as he went into the office, people hate him. Republics and Democrats alike and it's because he's black. But with a white guy people laugh it off.

That's not right!


On a smaller scale, as I had said before, if a black person doesn't "act black" people accuse him of trying to "be white". It doesn't just come from white people, but it comes from other fucking black people!!! Hell! This is said if you're just a lightskinned black person...which I am. I know what it's like to be on both ends of that! When I lived in Maryland I was the lightskinned girl...I also happened to speak proper English because if I didn't, my mom would kick my ass. I had no friends and I was harrassed to the point of tears everyday and told I was trying to be white. I was told I was white. Then I move to Maine. .01% black people. Often I am the only black person in class. It was exciting to be the black person, but everyone had ideas about me already in there heads. Of what I should be. Apparently that was ghetto. I was supposed to love rap music, be able to dance and sing gospel. I can only do one of those things which is sing gospel...I do like some rap, but shh! It's crazy! I can't be black because I'm scary, but I can't act like anything else because people will say that I hate myself and hate my race without even knowing me. I spent my first 7 years in Maine trying to fight off the stereotypes of black people so I wouldn't allow myself to listen to rap, hiphop or anything...even if I liked it...except Eminem because he's the cool white rapper. I didn't watch the movies with themes of black culture. I wouldn't even remotely act like a black person...not because I wasn't proud of my race, but because I wanted people to see that black people don't fit into stereotypical molds...that people don't fit into stereotypical molds. And the fact that I felt I had to do that at age 7 when I moved here isn't right.


It's not fair.
We spend time making tyring to make entire races feel inferior or that they should "stay in their place."
It's not right, but that's how society is.


There's so many things wrong with society.
This is part 1 of my society rants though.
I want to change it.


I have to go to bed.
It's 12:30 in the morning and I have school tomorrow...well, later today.
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Jan. 3rd, 2010 @ 06:35 pm Ipod music, horoscopes and homework
Current Mood: sleepy
My ipod's about to be filled with so much win it's not even funny!

The Beatles
Pink Floyd
Fresh Prince
Boyz II Men....oh yes.
Janis Joplin
Ella Fitzgerald


There might be more, I can't remember.
I tried putting Queen, Jimmi Hendrix, Fleetwood Mac and the Grateful Dead on there, but now my ipod's out of space. I have a 2nd generation nano with only 4 gigs. It's pretty lame because I'm the kind of person who likes to have the entire discography of all my favorite artists...but the hits must suffice. Someday, I will get an ipod with more gigs and when that day comes...well...I'll just have a butt ton of music! Shabam!



Ok, so I found this horoscope thingy...well, I found it before my desktop died and then I found again in my bookmarks because I forgot it was there...I read it...it was redonkulously accurate. It was me to a T. Imma find it.


www.cyberspacei.com/englishwiz/index.htm

Shabam.
Read it and prepare to have your mind blown at the accuracy!

Now I must go. 2009 may be over, but it's homework still survives! WAAAAAAAH!!! D':
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Jan. 2nd, 2010 @ 11:52 pm The most awesome thing EVAR!
Current Mood: amused
I saw the best thing EVAR!!!!



A ShamWOW commercial......but auto-tuned!!!!


It...made...my....LIFE!!!!!


Well, as you can see, it doesn't take much to please me.



I tried to find it because I wanted to brighten your day....or night and well it depends on when your reading this, but I can't find it...I guess it's a brand spankin new version of the ShamWOW commercial. I'll try to find it, but in the mean time...keep your eyes peeled.


You won't regret it.
You might if you hate ShamWOW, the ShamWOW guy or auto-tune.
But seriously, it's pretty much the best thing ever.


Sorry about the 3 blogs today. I tried to wait till past midnight, but this was too good to not share.

Well anyway,

PEACE OUT.


Just kidding!

I just found this....not as good as the commercial I saw, but still, it's hilarious.

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Jan. 2nd, 2010 @ 06:49 pm *face palm*
Current Mood: embarrassed
I feel like I've been embarrassing myself all day today on the interwebz.

I don't know why.
I know no one cares.


I get embarrassed online, but in real life, I almost never do. I'll never understand myself...


*sigh*
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Jan. 2nd, 2010 @ 02:33 pm Besties till death!
Current Mood: grateful
I've concluded that after my music career in indie jazz and my best friend's career in animating has kicked off, we will save our money and design our own Neverland and live there together<3







And this is why we're best friends.
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Jan. 2nd, 2010 @ 02:24 am Happy Happy Joy Joy
Tags: ,
As it is my first post of 2010, I will post happy things.


This is me. Seriously. Everyime I see a commerical I do this and everytime I am going to watch the movie (34 times thank you very much.) I also do this in my mind whenever I start a conversation about Star Trek.

Whenever Laura and I are going to live together, we are going to have a menagerie of animals that include but are not limited to
1. Great Dane
2. Pug
3. Greyhound
4. Whippet
5. Cats
6. Fish

For the cats, we have picked out a couple of breeds that are all precious! American Curls and a Japanese bobtail top the list but I just found a video of a Scottish Curl and I must have one!


I can't forget the Zachary Quinto walking post. This man is too fine, even when he has crumbs on his pants.
http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_startrek/1070121.html#cutid1
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Jan. 1st, 2010 @ 09:15 am [events] starting this year..
Current Mood: okay
Tags: , , ,
2010..this year has fully 365 days again

i wanna say to all HAPPY NEW YEAR ,akemashite omedetou ,selamat tahun baru 2010
       
 my resolution ..to starting this year with hope and may will be better to face on toward and enjoy with my full comfortable-core


saa what do i check today ?after lurking around lj, i want to make a bit modifying of this simple layout so i'm in gear to starting how to make css and those stuff,,hope i can fully get something by doing this wohoo
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Dec. 31st, 2009 @ 02:30 am You can have three
Tags:

Beyonce - Single Ladies Skit

DJ Berry #1 | MySpace Video

There is something about men in high heels that just cracks me up.
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Dec. 29th, 2009 @ 08:19 pm My best friend.
Current Mood: grateful
WARNING! CHEESY POST AHEAD!!


My ~*Award Winning*~ Vanilla Bean. My other half. My best and closest friend. My love. You'd think I'd be dating her, but our friendship is more like that of J.D.'s and Turk's from Scrubs.


She's the best. Truly the best. I couldn't live without her. She's the only person I'm completely myself around. She's the only person I fully trust. She's been there for me through thick and thin and I for her. We don't hide behind masks with each other. She tells me the truth all the time, even when I don't want to hear it. She gives me advice, even though she knows I won't get it until months later. We don't have to put facades up for each other. We don't have to pretend to have the same taste in music, movies, books or art. I don't have to impress her. I don't have to pretend to know things that I don't when I'm around her.


She's the best best. We can spend weeks with each other and not get sick of each other. We never have to be doing anything spectacular to be able to have fun with each other. We just need a room and each other and we'll always be having fun. We don't have to hide behind make up and nice clothes. Hell! We've spent a week together in our jammies...not showering (you can judge, but don't pretend you haven't done it before), not brushing our hair or washing our faces or anything, but we didn't care. We didn't have to use our looks to impress each other. We don't have to use our wit to impress each other. We just need to be ourselves and all is good.

She's the super best best. We can call each other and having absolutely nothing to say, but it doesn't matter because we have each other's company and that's all that's important.


The girl is my other half. We'll be friends forever. A cheesy thing to say, but it's true. We don't fight. We can always agree to disagree when we're not on the same page. We can always move on. We don't get petty. We don't get uppity. We're competitve, but not in an unhealthy way. We try to outdo each other, but when one if us gets ahead of the other we can recognize it and congratulate each other on the achievement. We say "I'm so jealous." But really it's admiration. We don't let petty feelings get in the way of our friendship. Never. And it's fantastic because it truly is a rarity...especially in high school.


I truly can't live without her. She's a friend I never hope to lose, but I'm not worried about losing her because our friendship's solid like a rock. I've never felt as secure in a friendship as I am with her and I've never felt as much as myself around her as anyone else and that's what tells me this friendship will last forever.


You think I talk about MJ a lot? I do, he's a man worth an infinity amount of words in my book, but my best friend, she's worth even more words to me.


I love her to death man.
Without her, I'd be completely lost.
Fo realz.

I thought I'd tell you all this for some reason.
Well,
PEACE OUT.
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Dec. 27th, 2009 @ 09:05 pm I miss you.
Current Mood: mleh
The Troop is the best show ever, well 6th to Fresh Prince, The Cosby Show, Spongebob, Scrubs and That 70's Show...yeah. I do watch too much tv in case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't, but anyhoo! I have no idea what I'm talking about. I haven't slept in 2 days. I've been missing Michael a lot more lately...well, I never stop missing him, but I'm just feeling like the world is more empty without him here...I mean, I've been feeling that ever since the day he died, but I've been feeling that even moreso lately, I mean, he's irreplaceable ya know? It's weird to miss someone I've never met and don't know personally so much, but I mean, I have been listening to his music since the womb. I mean, he truly is a much part of my life as my family because I mean, I have been listening to his music for so long. I just miss him...the fact that I put 3 posters of him in my room doesn't help really, but I mean, I'm still in the obsessively listening to his music and talking about him stage...I mean, I can tell I annoy people, but it's like, I feel like if I stop talking about him, listening to his music and thinking about him, then somehow I'll start forgetting him...even though that's impossible....I haven't gone a day in my life without thinking about him once...crazy, but favorite musician since womb...the thoughts of him are pretty much involuntarily...you see how he's a big part of my life. I feel silly. I feel like it's a school girl crush, except my crush died. And all I have are the memories of "Oh, I've admired you from afar, but from afar too long" I'm now I'm left with what ifs. That's a terrible feeling actually and regardless of how silly and irrational it is to miss someone I've never met, I do. And unless by some miracle some Thriller shizz happens and he comes out of the ground then I'm stuck missing him. I know I don't come close to feeling what his friends and family feel, but I still hurt man. It sucks. So I've been a little down in the dumps lately. :/ I think because the thought "What if I had ever gotten to meet him?" reared into my mind and I know that I'm stuck with wondering and daydreams of what can never be....unless there is a heaven. I'm not so sure it's scaring me because I've been having this crazy fear of mortality lately...then I remembered that my mom had sent my dad a message on myspace...yeah, he has a myspace now, my dad's absentee. Haven't talked to him since I was 10 and even then, it was only because I answered the phone...I wasn't the one he wanted to talk to....he never responded to that message....I mean, my mom hasn't mentioned it....he's just proving over and over again that he doesn't love me and well...that feeling sucks. Lots of terrible emotions going on. How can you look the bright side of "Oh, my biggest idol died and I'll never get to meet him because I'm not sure if there's an afterlife anymore." or "Now I doubt everthing I've ever believed in." ooor "My dad doesn't love me and continues to reject me on the regular!" There's no posistive side there. It sucks.

Holy fuck man. Didn't expect this rant to come out.
I just realized I always seem to have a bad case of having the need to justify my feelings to people. It's kinda a lame.


Mleh.
I'm burning to death.
Frack humidity. It's winter, but it's fucking raining! In Maine! The fuck? Fuck global warming and tomorrow apparently we're supposed to get 5-6 inches of snow! The fuck is that?! Oh right....global warming. Fuck you global warming!


Well, I'm done completely forgetting not to be such a Negative Nancy. Sometimes the positive side just isn't there.


PEACE.
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Dec. 26th, 2009 @ 11:09 am [movie] Alice in Wonderland
Current Mood: calm
Tags: ,
trailer from movie Alice in Wonderland
the cast are amazing~~ 
here


since both my fav mention this ,just a coincidence maybe ^^
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Dec. 25th, 2009 @ 01:24 pm MERRY CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!
Current Mood: awesome
Pshh, more like Christmass! Hahaha! Ok, I'll stop now.

I hope you all are having a K.A. Christmas.


You know what would be the best Christmas? If I got to fight off zombies with my bestie and then at the end of the battle we'd all just do Thriller together. *Siigh* I can dream though. I can dream.


So my mom surprised me! With 2 more MJ shirts! Shabam! I have 6 MJ shirts now! I also got a record player, the Thriller album (WIN!), an Ella Fitzgerald album, a Queen album and 3 MJ posters.


This Christmas is pretty win.
Hope yours is too!


Well, Merry Christmas ya'll!
:D
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